Steps

When you adopt an older child, they tell you it'll be "two steps forward, one step back".

And a lot of times, it is. Sometimes, progress is slow and hard to come by.

Once in a while, you have a giant leap forward, and that is incredibly wonderful and exhilarating to watch. God's hand moves, and it is breathtaking.

At times, older child adoption is "one step forward, two steps back". That is disheartening. The progress you made last week and last month is lost and discouragement sets in.

And then there are the times when you take a step backward and find yourself free falling off a cliff.

That's where we are now.

I don't know what Cupcake is working through or worried about, but it is affecting every moment of every day. It's almost like back at the beginning. I'm tired. I'm weary. I want the other girl back. The one that smiles and obeys. The bubbly explorer who is confident and affectionate. The one who asks permission before helping herself. The one who uses her hands to hug instead of to hit.

It probably doesn't help that I've been living with a toothache/extraction for the past 8 days. My smiles have been rare and my temper short.

We'll live through this, but if you think to pray for us, we'd appreciate it. We're heading into "birthday month" and school is just around the corner. There's a million things to do and I'm having a hard time finding enough time for everything, including focusing on my baby.

(Sigh),
Mamita