Cupcake, on the other hand, is more like a walking exaggeration. She is so insecure in our love and so fragile, that any little impurity in my love causes her to have catastrophic failure. It certainly drives me to purify my love. And we know that perfect love casts out fear. Perfect love -that is my goal, knowing that I'll never reach it (here on earth).
Here is a list of the things that don't work. These are tried and true techniques that fail miserably.
- Threatening consequences as the misbehavior is being perpetrated.
- Using the "Hairy Eyeball" and other facial expressions meant to convey disapproval.
- Time Out, Isolation, and "Let them stew."
- Lobbing instructions from another room.
- Half-hearted and non-specific instructions.
- The "Grizzly Bear"
- Ignore the problem and hope it goes away.
- "You know better than that."
I know better than to use any of these tactics with my children. I know it's not good for them. I know it hurts my relationship with them. But, oh, I loved these tools for the longest time. As I read back through them, I feel like my parenting toolbox has been emptied.
In fact, it has been emptied.
Michael Monroe, at Empowered to Connect, talked about the need to learn new things, but there is a tremendous need to unlearn old things. The learning is hard work, but the unlearning is harder. Can I get an "Amen"?
God never takes away something without giving us something better. He tears us down, then builds us up stronger, wiser than before. That is the process of being purified. He shows us the more excellent way.
I hope to blog about the more excellent ways that God is teaching me in the near future.
Blessings to you,