We have so much love for this little girl. When we look in her beautiful brown eyes, we see so much. There's hurt and anger, fear, questioning, sadness, uncertainty. We see love, playfulness, spunkiness, charm, contentment, happiness. Sometimes, you can see all of this at the same time. Her eyes are SO expressive. She does not hide her feelings. When she smiles, the room lights up. When she pouts, the clouds roll in.
On our last day with Cupcake, she knew we were leaving before a word was said. She knew.
When we came back from breakfast, her ride was waiting. The love and hurt in her eyes was almost too much to bear. For the third time that morning, I explained that today, she will go to her house and we will go to our house, but we will be back for her. Next time, no good-bye!
Then we all walked downstairs and, hugging and crying, they pried her out of my arms. She kicked and screamed in horror. Daddy S and I collapsed in sobs. We could still hear her from the parking lot when we got back to our 4th floor room.
Words cannot describe the heartache that occurred when they carried our baby away. But my hope is this - Next time, no good-bye! Next time, she comes home with us. Next time, her stuff goes in our bags. Next time, we walk out of that hotel as a family.
I Can't Afford That!
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