Tuesday, April 16, 2013

The Grace Calendar - Part 1

Sticker charts.

They work for some kids.  Other kids...not so much.

There's a lot of talk in adoption circles about it. 

In general, I don't recommend using sticker charts as a motivator - especially when dealing with kids from hard places.

But, there have been times when they have been useful.

When Cupcake was a little tyke, she was literally dis-integrated.  She did not know that the person who raged for hours was the same as the sweet little doll-baby that rocked in my arms at night.  The therapist would ask her what made her mad.  She would answer that she never got mad.  This was a true answer in her mind. 

So our therapist made some sticker charts.  If she had a good day and didn't hurt anyone, she could put a happy-face sticker on the square.  However, if she raged and hurt someone, that person got to draw a sad face on the square.  It helped her understand that is was her that was raging.  It helped her understand that her actions impacted others, people she cared about. 

It worked.  She began to see that all of her emotions belonged to her.  The different parts of her began to integrate until she formed the concept of one Cupcake with many feelings.

That's the last sticker chart we've done...until recently.

To be continued...

Blessings to you,

1 comment:

Christie Minich said...

Cupcake's response to the therapist is interesting. Many times our sweetie will say, "I wasn't angry."
What were you?
frustrated. LOL